![]() I know Bernie “Gabba” Vegas has retired, but fuck-a-doodle-doo he was sexy. ![]() Image credit: Getty Images / Mark Brake Brisbane Lions He does not caw for human touch, but instead the power that comes with staging a coup at Timezone. He’ll even drive over your arm with a bumper car if he has to.Ĭlaude is so dedicated to winning that the concept of sex probably doesn’t even cross his mind. The point I’m trying to make is he would stop at nothing to see you fail because, with God as his witness, he wants those fucking game credits. I’m not even sure if that game still exists, but for the purposes of this story, it’s in operation. Maybe he’d put butter on the arrows on the floor so you’d stack it mid-dance. Sorry! Adelaide CrowsĬlaude “Curls” Crow has the evil, beady eyes of a teenage boy who would challenge you to a game of Dance Dance Revolution at Timezone, but because he’s a freak, he would sabotage you. If there are any objections, I don’t care. For this reason, and this reason alone, I believe I am the perfect candidate to assess the rootability of footy club mascots. Not a fucking clue.īut what I am good at is forming sordid opinions about anthropomorphic figures, as evidenced by my thorough analysis into which Neopets are the hottest. ![]() I have absolutely no authority to judge any teams on their technical abilities, and I don’t even understand the rules of the game. I don’t support any team, and instead will just wear whatever scarf my mates force upon me when we go to a game. ![]()
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